John Helmer: Gimmick

December 22, 2017

I’m at the private view of an exhibition of Viva covers with my brother-in-law, who has featured in this column before.


“Why does John call you Foghorn Leghorn?” someone asks.


“BECAUSE I TALK IN A VERY LOUD VOICE,” he bellows. The level of conversation dips in the room. People look round. “It’s my gimmick,” he stage-whispers.


Somehow we get onto the subject of height, and I start telling Foghorn about some research I read that shows tall males are disproportionately represented in executive boardrooms.


“We’re all just animals really, aren’t we?” says Foghorn, and starts doing his impression of a gorilla. “LOOK, I’M A SILVERBACK,” he calls to Kate and Siobhan, our respective wives.


“Oh God,” they groan, turning away... [read more]

 

Illustration by Chris Riddell

 

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